well, i do suppose i could post something of substance here.. it's been a bit (sorry to those of you who actually check in with any regularity!). life has just been kindof.. i don't know.. average? i feel like i am constantly working, or if not actually working, thinking about work or accidentally running into someone in the hall who needs something. i've been on duty a *lot* lately, so that probably contributes to it.
**side rant - sometimes, really smart people do really stupid stuff. and i don't know if it's the whole 'in the real world for the first time' thing, or the stress of school, or what, but COME ON people! just think for a second before you do things! we'd all be a lot happier (and i'd be a lot better rested) for it.**
anyway.. in the last couple weeks we had the whole selection process for our RA staffs, and now are heading into finals. 24 hour quiet hours start on saturday, and then a week later everyone's off for break. it's going to feel really weird not actually leaving right away with everyone else when they go after finals.
whenever i think about break, i imagine the whole building sighing in relief at having lightened its load of all the people, books and stress it regularly bears. when the building is closed, they shut all the drapes and turn off most of the lights, as if to let it rest in preparation for another hectic semester. over fall break i almost felt as though i was intruding on the building's naptime, my ghost haunting the relatively peaceful sleep of a place that generally gets very little rest. i'm hoping that over winter break i can share some of that peacefulness and come back refreshed as well.
..of course the 10 days in florida will probably help with that :)
11.22.2007
11.11.2007
it's been interesting.. the last few weeks have been fairly up and down and a bit twisty.. but i dont really feel like i have anything to write about. so. i guess. instead i'm gonna do this little quizzy thing. just to have some sort of writing and word creation happening in my brain.
three things...
Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1.) have children
2.) visit europe
3.) figure out what exactly it is i am doing with myself.
Three Names You Go By (remaining anonymous here as much as possible):
1.) ayjay
2.) chicky
3.) f. McTC
Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1.) frodofrog
2.) frodofrogaj
3.) acost007
Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1.) my hair
2.) athleticism
3.) the freckle on my left index finger
Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1.) scottish
2.) german
3.) wisconsinite
Three Things That Scare You:
1.) possibility of encountering a huge tragedy in my job
2.) nightmares
3.) hate
Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1.) love from friends and family
2.) breakfast
3.) physical movement
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1.) my watch
2.) blue/brown glasses
3.) grey sweats
Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1.) guster
2.) zero 7
3.) rachel yamagata
Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1.) song for the dumped
2.) every ship must sail away
3.) moonshadow
Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1.) honesty
2.) love
3.) communication
Two Truths And A Lie (in no particular order):
1.) i have no heat in my apartment right now
2.) i have friends in the circus
3.) i have flown on a trapeze
Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:
1.) smile
2.) hair
3.) forearms
Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1.) juggling
2.) outdoorsy stuff
3.) reading
Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1.) stretch my hamstrings
2.) see chris
3.) get heat in my apartment
Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:
1.) teacher
2.) academic advisor
3.) peanut butter maker
Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1.) Europe -- specifically rome and the highlands in scotland
2.) australia
3.) the very bottom tip of south america
Three Kid's Names You Like:
1.) elsie (short for elsabeth)
2.) steven
3.) sofia
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:
1.) i put on lotion every day
2.) i play with my hair a lot
3.) i really only like to wear soft clothing
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:
1.) i don't care about being dirty (when appropriate)
2.) i enjoy drinking a beer and watching a game
3.) i love my badgers football
Three People That I Would Like To See Take This Quiz Now:
1.) GW bush
2.) neil gaiman
3.) my old highschool english teacher
three things...
Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1.) have children
2.) visit europe
3.) figure out what exactly it is i am doing with myself.
Three Names You Go By (remaining anonymous here as much as possible):
1.) ayjay
2.) chicky
3.) f. McTC
Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1.) frodofrog
2.) frodofrogaj
3.) acost007
Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1.) my hair
2.) athleticism
3.) the freckle on my left index finger
Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1.) scottish
2.) german
3.) wisconsinite
Three Things That Scare You:
1.) possibility of encountering a huge tragedy in my job
2.) nightmares
3.) hate
Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1.) love from friends and family
2.) breakfast
3.) physical movement
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1.) my watch
2.) blue/brown glasses
3.) grey sweats
Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1.) guster
2.) zero 7
3.) rachel yamagata
Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1.) song for the dumped
2.) every ship must sail away
3.) moonshadow
Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1.) honesty
2.) love
3.) communication
Two Truths And A Lie (in no particular order):
1.) i have no heat in my apartment right now
2.) i have friends in the circus
3.) i have flown on a trapeze
Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:
1.) smile
2.) hair
3.) forearms
Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1.) juggling
2.) outdoorsy stuff
3.) reading
Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1.) stretch my hamstrings
2.) see chris
3.) get heat in my apartment
Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:
1.) teacher
2.) academic advisor
3.) peanut butter maker
Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1.) Europe -- specifically rome and the highlands in scotland
2.) australia
3.) the very bottom tip of south america
Three Kid's Names You Like:
1.) elsie (short for elsabeth)
2.) steven
3.) sofia
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:
1.) i put on lotion every day
2.) i play with my hair a lot
3.) i really only like to wear soft clothing
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:
1.) i don't care about being dirty (when appropriate)
2.) i enjoy drinking a beer and watching a game
3.) i love my badgers football
Three People That I Would Like To See Take This Quiz Now:
1.) GW bush
2.) neil gaiman
3.) my old highschool english teacher
10.23.2007
so i started to write something here this morning. but it turned into something much greater than i had initially anticipated it, and so i have decided to keep working. it's rare for me to really get into writing anything. when i was a kid, i considered myself a 'great writer,' and had aspirations to become the next great american novelist. i think college beat the thought of 'novel' out of me. but sometimes still, once in a while, something comes out of my brain that isn't bad. something that i might actually share with other people. this one has been brewing for a while. but it's not ready for anyone else to see yet. you're gonna have to sit tight.
like me, in yoga this morning. yikes.
namaste.
like me, in yoga this morning. yikes.
namaste.
10.15.2007
"What do you want? You can't want to be happy, because that's too easy and too boring. You can't want only to love, because that's impossible. What do you want? You want to justify your life, to live it as intensely as possible. That is at once a trap and a source of ecstasy. Try to be alert to that danger and experience the joy and the adventure of being that woman who is beyond the image reflected in the mirror." ~ from The Witch of Portobello by Paolo Coelo
10.10.2007
some things:
every one of my plates and bowls and silverware are dirty. it's a sign of how amazing my weekend was.
i find myself more desiring of slipping into tv and movie-watching oblivion.
there are days i love my job.
and days i don't so much.
it's weird to think that is true with most things you could do.
smart, eloquent people make me happy.
sometimes naive ones do too.
i find that i like people less the more they exemplify stereotypes.
exercise is good for my body and soul. but sometimes i just can't get myself to do it.
the thought of trading holidays is exhilarating.
my big brother will be home in 2 months.
today it was cold outside. my office was still about 80 degrees.
i'm scared of some places where feelings and logic meet.
every day i have more in my head and less to write about.
every one of my plates and bowls and silverware are dirty. it's a sign of how amazing my weekend was.
i find myself more desiring of slipping into tv and movie-watching oblivion.
there are days i love my job.
and days i don't so much.
it's weird to think that is true with most things you could do.
smart, eloquent people make me happy.
sometimes naive ones do too.
i find that i like people less the more they exemplify stereotypes.
exercise is good for my body and soul. but sometimes i just can't get myself to do it.
the thought of trading holidays is exhilarating.
my big brother will be home in 2 months.
today it was cold outside. my office was still about 80 degrees.
i'm scared of some places where feelings and logic meet.
every day i have more in my head and less to write about.
9.12.2007
happy making babies day!!
tonight the dining hall served lobster. and not just like.. lobster soup, or fake lobster in a salad. no. these were entire maine lobsters, cooked fresh in the res hall kitchen. with bibs. and crackers. one of my bosses described it as being 'a bonus to your paycheck' and what a bonus it was! mmmm in the midst of a crazy wednesday, it was a welcome break.
i finally bought my gym membership today. :D so tomorrow starts the early morning yoga/workouts. it's the only time i can go, and my body is begging me for more exercise. also, they take $26 from my paycheck every month, so i have to make it worth it!
oh, and, my aunt has a blog for her bookstore now. so you should go check it out!
tonight the dining hall served lobster. and not just like.. lobster soup, or fake lobster in a salad. no. these were entire maine lobsters, cooked fresh in the res hall kitchen. with bibs. and crackers. one of my bosses described it as being 'a bonus to your paycheck' and what a bonus it was! mmmm in the midst of a crazy wednesday, it was a welcome break.
i finally bought my gym membership today. :D so tomorrow starts the early morning yoga/workouts. it's the only time i can go, and my body is begging me for more exercise. also, they take $26 from my paycheck every month, so i have to make it worth it!
oh, and, my aunt has a blog for her bookstore now. so you should go check it out!
9.03.2007
happy labor day everyone! and happy september! and look! it's only been two weeks since my last post! not shabby..
so this weekend.. was amazing. i came down to miami to spend time with my mild mannered meteorologist. got to hang out with glo for a couple hours friday night, and then spent most of the rest of the weekend just hanging out.. we didn't do much. watched movies (perfume: the story of a murderer, and the lives of others - both excellent, in their own ways), ate good food (turkey saturday and salmon sunday), and did lots and lots of cuddling. today we went snorkeling for an hour up by fort lauderdale, before i had to get to the airport. having the airport right near the beach is just very convenient.
saw lots of good stuff while snorkeling! a conch that was bigger than my head, a pretty purple jellyfish, and a nurse shark. also this weird worm thing that we had no idea what it was. yay! all within an hour :) snorkeling is so cool. i got my first jellyfish sting. which i am not disappointed about at all. i feel it's on that list of life experiences to have someday. so hooray for checking off another one of those.
time to board the plane. hooray for fort lauderdale airport having free internet :) baibai!
so this weekend.. was amazing. i came down to miami to spend time with my mild mannered meteorologist. got to hang out with glo for a couple hours friday night, and then spent most of the rest of the weekend just hanging out.. we didn't do much. watched movies (perfume: the story of a murderer, and the lives of others - both excellent, in their own ways), ate good food (turkey saturday and salmon sunday), and did lots and lots of cuddling. today we went snorkeling for an hour up by fort lauderdale, before i had to get to the airport. having the airport right near the beach is just very convenient.
saw lots of good stuff while snorkeling! a conch that was bigger than my head, a pretty purple jellyfish, and a nurse shark. also this weird worm thing that we had no idea what it was. yay! all within an hour :) snorkeling is so cool. i got my first jellyfish sting. which i am not disappointed about at all. i feel it's on that list of life experiences to have someday. so hooray for checking off another one of those.
time to board the plane. hooray for fort lauderdale airport having free internet :) baibai!
8.19.2007
wow. we made it. move-in was yesterday, and i made it through the day with only one angry parent yelling from 6 inches in front of my face. he was horrifying. i've never seen someone be so rude to another person, and to know that he did it to my maintenance staff too makes me ill. gonna take some time to shake that off. but i made it. returning students move in today. which is pretty much a day off for me. i was going to try to go for a bike ride, but it is going to be raining all day, so... maybe a movie instead, and a run in the rain in the evening. sounds good to me :)
..i dont really have anything brilliant to say. next week is pretty busy yet, until wednesday when the students start class. my brain isn't really functioning any higher than 'get through this, get through this...' which is why i haven't written in a while. it's neat to have the energy of students coursing through the building, but i think it's going to take me a couple days to funnel that into anything productive for myself. i'll let y'all know. ;)
until then, it's a relaxing, lazy sunday afternoon for me.
..i dont really have anything brilliant to say. next week is pretty busy yet, until wednesday when the students start class. my brain isn't really functioning any higher than 'get through this, get through this...' which is why i haven't written in a while. it's neat to have the energy of students coursing through the building, but i think it's going to take me a couple days to funnel that into anything productive for myself. i'll let y'all know. ;)
until then, it's a relaxing, lazy sunday afternoon for me.
7.31.2007
oh goodness, what a horrible blogger i have been! here i went, sending out a link to this goofy thing to a ton of people, and i haven't even put anything up yet.
u of i is fantastic. i have a bunch of coworkers that rock my socks, and a building that is going to be very interesting. i'm excited about all the trees on this campus, as well as the juggling opportunities :) also, my apartment is gorgeous:
so there you go. a post. YAY!
we're heading into RA training next week, so my life will be even more hectic (if you can even imagine that..) but i'll try to be better about this.
oh! and CONGRATULATIONS Freddy and Mai on your marriage!! i so much wish i could have been there, but alas, i dont think my bosses would have let me skip training my RAs to be hauling around japan for a couple of weeks. much love and best wishes to you! ^-^
u of i is fantastic. i have a bunch of coworkers that rock my socks, and a building that is going to be very interesting. i'm excited about all the trees on this campus, as well as the juggling opportunities :) also, my apartment is gorgeous:
so there you go. a post. YAY!
we're heading into RA training next week, so my life will be even more hectic (if you can even imagine that..) but i'll try to be better about this.
oh! and CONGRATULATIONS Freddy and Mai on your marriage!! i so much wish i could have been there, but alas, i dont think my bosses would have let me skip training my RAs to be hauling around japan for a couple of weeks. much love and best wishes to you! ^-^
6.28.2007
so. i got a job!!
i was going to wait and post pictures from Shenandoah and do a nice big pretty post, but i figure....i dont want to yet. heh.
so, here's the deal. i am moving to illinois next week, to work at the U. of Ill. at urbana-champaign. i'll be in an all-women's hall, supervising RA's, etc.. U of I *is* playing the Badgers this year, so if people want a place to crash to go to the game.. let me know!
and now, back to your regularly scheduled work day.
i was going to wait and post pictures from Shenandoah and do a nice big pretty post, but i figure....i dont want to yet. heh.
so, here's the deal. i am moving to illinois next week, to work at the U. of Ill. at urbana-champaign. i'll be in an all-women's hall, supervising RA's, etc.. U of I *is* playing the Badgers this year, so if people want a place to crash to go to the game.. let me know!
and now, back to your regularly scheduled work day.
6.15.2007
because i feel that this insanity needs to be shared... this is the story of my travel experiences for my on-campus interview at U of I this week.
on my way to the airport, i got to navigate clumps of sod that had been dropped on the freeway by some goofy truck driver. it was quite entertaining to see all the cars suddenly swerving around on the 836. not a big deal though, no accidents, just amusement. i got to the airport and parked my car, and had no trouble getting to the gate. some guy commented on my bare feet going through the metal detector, but.. that attempt at flirting fell rather flat. which is not to say i have flat feet. my feet, like certain other members of my family's, are perfect.
the first plane, from miami to chicago, had no air conditioning. two and a half hours with no air. the second plane had no functioning bathroom on board. thankfully that was a short flight, but sheesh!
the interview on tuesday went really well, i think.. it was a long day, but i answered some questions exactly how i wanted to, and got a really good vibe from the staff. i also got to have pizza and beer with one of my juggling buddies, so that was enjoyable as well :) i'll be hearing back about the job next week sometime. keep those fingers crossed!
on wednesday, i got up at 7 CST for breakfast, got picked up at 7:45, and was at the airport, by the gate, by 8:10. first flight left at 9:10, right on time, w/o a hitch. it had functioning bathrooms. excellent. however, the gate we pulled in at was on the complete opposite side of the airport from where i was leaving, so i didn't have much time to work my way through the crowds to get to my gate before its scheduled boarding time. turned out that didn't matter, b/c we had to wait 20 minutes for the flight attendants to show up. and then once we got on the plane, it took another 20 minutes to get the baggage loaded and take off (why weren't they loading while the flight attendants were coming??). at this point i'm like.. ok. we're running a little late, but this airplane has air conditioning, and the guy next to me smells pretty good, so it should be a nice flight.
flight was fine. pleasant, even. i read harry potter the whole way :) but after we landed, the jet bridge we were supposed to use to get off the plane was broken. so they started unloading the baggage while we waited for someone to come fix it. they tried, and failed, so we were told we'd have to switch gates. it took 20 minutes to reload the baggage and then get to a new gate, and finally deplane... by this point we'd been sitting on the plane *on the ground* for an hour and fifteen minutes. i got off the plane almost exactly 2 hours after i was supposed to. many people were disgruntled.
but the story, my friends, does not stop there. because of the delays, i now had to drive home in rush hour traffic. but this was no ordinary rush hour traffic! no! this was rush hour traffic in a magnificent thunderstorm, with driving rain and hail! by this point, i was actually glad for the storm. it cracked me up. i called my mild mannered meteorologist to report the hail, and just enjoyed the clear panic in the other drivers' movements. the amusement of that storm made me just tired, as opposed to tired and crabby. by the time i got home, it was 6pm, and i hadn't eaten in 10 hours. i passed out, and didn't really wake up until dinner was done. sometimes it's really nice to live with someone :)
anyhow, that's my story of disgruntled travel.. it was quite the adventure. not really one i want to repeat, but an adventure nonetheless.
today we are starting our journey up to spend a week in VA. i'm excited to see another new part of the country :) camping, canoe'ing, driving... it should be good!
on my way to the airport, i got to navigate clumps of sod that had been dropped on the freeway by some goofy truck driver. it was quite entertaining to see all the cars suddenly swerving around on the 836. not a big deal though, no accidents, just amusement. i got to the airport and parked my car, and had no trouble getting to the gate. some guy commented on my bare feet going through the metal detector, but.. that attempt at flirting fell rather flat. which is not to say i have flat feet. my feet, like certain other members of my family's, are perfect.
the first plane, from miami to chicago, had no air conditioning. two and a half hours with no air. the second plane had no functioning bathroom on board. thankfully that was a short flight, but sheesh!
the interview on tuesday went really well, i think.. it was a long day, but i answered some questions exactly how i wanted to, and got a really good vibe from the staff. i also got to have pizza and beer with one of my juggling buddies, so that was enjoyable as well :) i'll be hearing back about the job next week sometime. keep those fingers crossed!
on wednesday, i got up at 7 CST for breakfast, got picked up at 7:45, and was at the airport, by the gate, by 8:10. first flight left at 9:10, right on time, w/o a hitch. it had functioning bathrooms. excellent. however, the gate we pulled in at was on the complete opposite side of the airport from where i was leaving, so i didn't have much time to work my way through the crowds to get to my gate before its scheduled boarding time. turned out that didn't matter, b/c we had to wait 20 minutes for the flight attendants to show up. and then once we got on the plane, it took another 20 minutes to get the baggage loaded and take off (why weren't they loading while the flight attendants were coming??). at this point i'm like.. ok. we're running a little late, but this airplane has air conditioning, and the guy next to me smells pretty good, so it should be a nice flight.
flight was fine. pleasant, even. i read harry potter the whole way :) but after we landed, the jet bridge we were supposed to use to get off the plane was broken. so they started unloading the baggage while we waited for someone to come fix it. they tried, and failed, so we were told we'd have to switch gates. it took 20 minutes to reload the baggage and then get to a new gate, and finally deplane... by this point we'd been sitting on the plane *on the ground* for an hour and fifteen minutes. i got off the plane almost exactly 2 hours after i was supposed to. many people were disgruntled.
but the story, my friends, does not stop there. because of the delays, i now had to drive home in rush hour traffic. but this was no ordinary rush hour traffic! no! this was rush hour traffic in a magnificent thunderstorm, with driving rain and hail! by this point, i was actually glad for the storm. it cracked me up. i called my mild mannered meteorologist to report the hail, and just enjoyed the clear panic in the other drivers' movements. the amusement of that storm made me just tired, as opposed to tired and crabby. by the time i got home, it was 6pm, and i hadn't eaten in 10 hours. i passed out, and didn't really wake up until dinner was done. sometimes it's really nice to live with someone :)
anyhow, that's my story of disgruntled travel.. it was quite the adventure. not really one i want to repeat, but an adventure nonetheless.
today we are starting our journey up to spend a week in VA. i'm excited to see another new part of the country :) camping, canoe'ing, driving... it should be good!
6.07.2007
6.05.2007
i haven't posted in a long time, again. you should be getting used to that ;)
i have a phone interview for a job in about 10 minutes. while researching their site, i found this. i like it:
wish me luck!
i have a phone interview for a job in about 10 minutes. while researching their site, i found this. i like it:
“What is it, “Kokoro”?
It is the sound of the pine breeze there in the painting.”
Above is the poem by the priest Ikkyu, one of the greatest Japanese Zen monks in the 15th century. “Kokoro” is the Japanese word inclusive of heart, mind and spirit, which is like the sound of the pine breeze in the painting. Thus, we cannot see nor hold it, but if it is executed well, we can hear it.
~Kimiko Gunji
Director of Japan House, University of Illinois at Champagne-Urbana
wish me luck!
5.12.2007
it was a fairly big van, with 'watch for children' in paste-on red letters on the back. the van.. was what you could refer to as a 'rapist van' - you couldn't see through the windows. the sliding door was open, and visible was the only thing that told you it was an icecream truck. just inside the door (as in, you'd have to lean into the van to get to it..) was a cardboard stand with the types and prices of available icecream. they were driving around with the sliding door open, no music, just.. on the prowl. i shuddered and turned the corner, once again vowing to never raise children in miami.
5.08.2007
it's been almost a month! sorry 'bout that.. been lots going on, i guess. umm. let's see.. i graduated! YAY! you may now all call me 'master' ;) my mom and lil bros came down for graduation weekend.. it was amazing to spend time with them. i haven't been back to WI at all this semester, so i definitely cherished the opportunity to have some family time.
had to be moved out by the day after graduation. i'm now living with my mild-mannered meteorologist, until i move away from miami.
..unfortunately i dont know where that 'away' is, yet. don't have a job, yet. which is a little frustrating, but i'm not freaking out about it at this point. i've got a couple feelers out.. am just waiting to hear back so i can figure out what is up.
am still working at FIU for another month or so, so i can get stuff set up for the woman who is taking my position next year. gotta clean this place up a bit so she can make sense of it.
that's all i've got for now.
had to be moved out by the day after graduation. i'm now living with my mild-mannered meteorologist, until i move away from miami.
..unfortunately i dont know where that 'away' is, yet. don't have a job, yet. which is a little frustrating, but i'm not freaking out about it at this point. i've got a couple feelers out.. am just waiting to hear back so i can figure out what is up.
am still working at FIU for another month or so, so i can get stuff set up for the woman who is taking my position next year. gotta clean this place up a bit so she can make sense of it.
that's all i've got for now.
4.16.2007
i know i've been bad about posting. and there are a couple people who have expressed curiosity about what i've been up to. but. the whole virginia tech thing. holy crap. i feel that it pales in comparison to any news i could write on here about myself. my partner's little sister goes to VT and one of her favorite teachers is thought to be dead. she wasn't near the area where it all happened. i think my heart skipped a couple beats when i realized the shooting was at her school. thankfully she's ok.
it's interesting the different reactions people have to the whole thing. given that i study higher education, some classmates and colleagues have started talking about the effect this event will have on colleges and universities around the country. higher security in residence halls? more cameras in classrooms? more police on campus? but then how can you possibly react when something happens so incredibly quickly? i have an interview with a school on monday. i had been planning on asking about their plan of action for crisis situations, in light of what happened at bluffton university.. but now with this having happened, it makes it even more relevant. the two events are traumatic in different ways, but students will certainly have some similar needs to help them cope. anyhow. to get off the geek pedestal and reflect on another reaction.
some people have asked why no one did anything to stop the guy. someone i knew in high school posted the following in a myspace bulletin:
"Ok, the Virginia tech thing. First of all, very sad, really.
But GIMME A BREAK, that fucker managed to shoot 50 FUCKING PEOPLE and no one tried to take him down? It would be wrong of me to say that it is their own fault, but I will tell you right now, in IL the guy would have been lucky to even raise his gun before someone was taking him down. I find it strange that absolutely NO ONE acted the hero, at least trying to stop the gunman. The worst shooting incident in US History? Well, maybe next time someone will react when they see 30 of their classmates die and try to put a stop to it. I am sorry, and I am sure I will get flak for this statement. But it wouldn't have been the worse shooting in history if people acted with the survival instinct they are supposed to, aka ATTACK.
And for those who think I am hypocritical and would run away just like all those other people, I learned a long time ago that I can't run fast and I can't hide behind things. All that leaves is offense, so there."
i still dont know what to make of that. ..i think it's going to take me a while to process it all. ..i think it will take a lot of people a while to process.
it's interesting the different reactions people have to the whole thing. given that i study higher education, some classmates and colleagues have started talking about the effect this event will have on colleges and universities around the country. higher security in residence halls? more cameras in classrooms? more police on campus? but then how can you possibly react when something happens so incredibly quickly? i have an interview with a school on monday. i had been planning on asking about their plan of action for crisis situations, in light of what happened at bluffton university.. but now with this having happened, it makes it even more relevant. the two events are traumatic in different ways, but students will certainly have some similar needs to help them cope. anyhow. to get off the geek pedestal and reflect on another reaction.
some people have asked why no one did anything to stop the guy. someone i knew in high school posted the following in a myspace bulletin:
"Ok, the Virginia tech thing. First of all, very sad, really.
But GIMME A BREAK, that fucker managed to shoot 50 FUCKING PEOPLE and no one tried to take him down? It would be wrong of me to say that it is their own fault, but I will tell you right now, in IL the guy would have been lucky to even raise his gun before someone was taking him down. I find it strange that absolutely NO ONE acted the hero, at least trying to stop the gunman. The worst shooting incident in US History? Well, maybe next time someone will react when they see 30 of their classmates die and try to put a stop to it. I am sorry, and I am sure I will get flak for this statement. But it wouldn't have been the worse shooting in history if people acted with the survival instinct they are supposed to, aka ATTACK.
And for those who think I am hypocritical and would run away just like all those other people, I learned a long time ago that I can't run fast and I can't hide behind things. All that leaves is offense, so there."
i still dont know what to make of that. ..i think it's going to take me a while to process it all. ..i think it will take a lot of people a while to process.
3.29.2007
i had some time to sit and think for a while yesterday.. and this is what came out of my head:
"at some point, i stopped writing just to write. when i was younger, i would spend time every day just writing whatever came to my head. no worries about sentence structure or coherence.. no focus on whether what i was writing made sense. i wrote just to write. my head was filled with all these words that just needed to come out. things that refused to stay in. and every day i took a little while to let it all out. as i have progressed through my years (although i am yet not very old..) i have found myself having a harder time writing just for the joy of creation. as i have been taught in school, all writing must serve a purpose. it must express an idea, an emotion. prove a point. make sense. why is that?
through especially the last two years, i have seen so many things that don't make sense. things that made me throw up my hands in frustration or disbelief, 'i just don't get it!' so why then is it in my head that the things i write about must make sense? if i am to express what is really going on in my head and my surroundings, how can i be expected to write sentences that make meaning out of something i can't even wrap my head around? how much of what is in our heads could make beautiful writing if we could get past this training that says 'everything in your world can be made sense of'?
even as i write this i am keenly aware of the contradiction in what i am doing. these words came out to express my distaste for everything having to have a purpose. is that not itself a purpose? i sat down to write about the things in my head, and ended up writing about my inability to do so. instead of actually writing about the thoughts, describing them and setting them free, i have merely written about their existance, not giving them the due of full expression."
...and then i got interrupted.
but i wanted to share.
back to the insanity! i have interviews with 6 schools (from literally coast to coast) this weekend. cross your fingers that at least one or two go well :)
"at some point, i stopped writing just to write. when i was younger, i would spend time every day just writing whatever came to my head. no worries about sentence structure or coherence.. no focus on whether what i was writing made sense. i wrote just to write. my head was filled with all these words that just needed to come out. things that refused to stay in. and every day i took a little while to let it all out. as i have progressed through my years (although i am yet not very old..) i have found myself having a harder time writing just for the joy of creation. as i have been taught in school, all writing must serve a purpose. it must express an idea, an emotion. prove a point. make sense. why is that?
through especially the last two years, i have seen so many things that don't make sense. things that made me throw up my hands in frustration or disbelief, 'i just don't get it!' so why then is it in my head that the things i write about must make sense? if i am to express what is really going on in my head and my surroundings, how can i be expected to write sentences that make meaning out of something i can't even wrap my head around? how much of what is in our heads could make beautiful writing if we could get past this training that says 'everything in your world can be made sense of'?
even as i write this i am keenly aware of the contradiction in what i am doing. these words came out to express my distaste for everything having to have a purpose. is that not itself a purpose? i sat down to write about the things in my head, and ended up writing about my inability to do so. instead of actually writing about the thoughts, describing them and setting them free, i have merely written about their existance, not giving them the due of full expression."
...and then i got interrupted.
but i wanted to share.
back to the insanity! i have interviews with 6 schools (from literally coast to coast) this weekend. cross your fingers that at least one or two go well :)
3.17.2007
i am sitting in fort lauderdale airport, on my way to bowling green state university for the week. they overbooked my flight so i got bumped to a different one.. which unfortunately leaves 9 hours after the one i was supposed to be on. thankfully, though, there is free wireless here! yay. it will at least help alleviate the airport-induced pain a bit..
i'm stealing this from gloria, becuse it seems like something interesting to do.
No More Silence: 15 things I should have said - to 15 different people, anonymously.
1. stop pitying yourself.
2. it wasn't your place to take that from me.
3. you are one of the most beautiful people i have ever known.
4. i sometimes wonder if i was old enough to make that decision.
5. your hugs are one of the things that got me through last spring.
6. i had a HUGE crush on you.
7. the way you interact with people is one of the most disrespectful things i've ever seen.
8. your kindness outshines that of almost anyone i know.
9. watching you raise children is going to amuse me immensely.
10. thank you for everything you have given me.
11. i have never felt so sexy as when...
12. you taught me how things can be better.
13. you kindof scare me. and i like it.
14. please learn to stand up for yourself.
15. i'm more scared of the time commitment than the loss.
i'm stealing this from gloria, becuse it seems like something interesting to do.
No More Silence: 15 things I should have said - to 15 different people, anonymously.
1. stop pitying yourself.
2. it wasn't your place to take that from me.
3. you are one of the most beautiful people i have ever known.
4. i sometimes wonder if i was old enough to make that decision.
5. your hugs are one of the things that got me through last spring.
6. i had a HUGE crush on you.
7. the way you interact with people is one of the most disrespectful things i've ever seen.
8. your kindness outshines that of almost anyone i know.
9. watching you raise children is going to amuse me immensely.
10. thank you for everything you have given me.
11. i have never felt so sexy as when...
12. you taught me how things can be better.
13. you kindof scare me. and i like it.
14. please learn to stand up for yourself.
15. i'm more scared of the time commitment than the loss.
3.15.2007
this week has been.. one full of reflection for me. with spring break (and other insanity such as interviewing for jobs) coming up, it has been easy to mark time, essential even. keeping track of things, knowing where i am, what i am doing, who i must contact.. who i am. needing to be able to articulate who i am, what i am good at, what i struggle with. i've spent a lot of time thinking about graduate school and my own development during it. a lot has happened in the last year and a half. heck, broken down, a lot has happened in the last year, the last six months, the last month..
something that has been sticking in my head for a couple days is the difference in my position from last march. a year ago i was in the midst of a maelstrom. a year ago i was home, staying with mike and his family, no idea of what was yet to come. no thought to brace myself. i thought things were going to get easier again. they did get easier, but not until i was halfway across the globe. things got a lot worse, first.
this year, i am once again in the midst of a swirl of confusion. but this time, it's mostly positive confusion. it's the confusion of moving on and up. of graduating, finding a job, balancing school and a nearby SO, really *living* in miami. i feel much more balanced and ready to handle the craziness of what april will bring. this time i actually know what the craziness is! which makes it still a bit scary, but much easier to handle, i think. i've got more people and tools to help me keep an even keel.
anyhow. here's hoping. the next 6 or 8 weeks are going to be nuts for me. i might not be around much. i might not make phone calls, or send emails, or post to my blog. but i am here. i am keeping afloat.
and i am exactly where i want to be.
something that has been sticking in my head for a couple days is the difference in my position from last march. a year ago i was in the midst of a maelstrom. a year ago i was home, staying with mike and his family, no idea of what was yet to come. no thought to brace myself. i thought things were going to get easier again. they did get easier, but not until i was halfway across the globe. things got a lot worse, first.
this year, i am once again in the midst of a swirl of confusion. but this time, it's mostly positive confusion. it's the confusion of moving on and up. of graduating, finding a job, balancing school and a nearby SO, really *living* in miami. i feel much more balanced and ready to handle the craziness of what april will bring. this time i actually know what the craziness is! which makes it still a bit scary, but much easier to handle, i think. i've got more people and tools to help me keep an even keel.
anyhow. here's hoping. the next 6 or 8 weeks are going to be nuts for me. i might not be around much. i might not make phone calls, or send emails, or post to my blog. but i am here. i am keeping afloat.
and i am exactly where i want to be.
3.05.2007
so i took this ridiculous thing.. and i have to say i disagree with some of the results. lol they call me an old geezer!! have no idea what that's about. i do, however, have to agree with the hotness rating ;)
but whatever.. the test itself was interesting. i suggest it if you have 20 minutes to spare:
Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)
TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite
but whatever.. the test itself was interesting. i suggest it if you have 20 minutes to spare:
The Everything Test
There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)
|
|
| |||||||||||||||||
| Politics Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 50% of the time. | Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Middle Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 65% less than the U.S. average. |
| If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13. By the way, your hottness rank is 71%, hotter than 96% of other test takers. |
TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite
3.04.2007
2.28.2007
wow. two things. one: that last post was number 700.
two: this is something from one of my favoritest authors, neil gaiman. ask a question.. you are sure to receive an answer (and please let us all know what your question and answer were, as they are sure to be an amusing combination!)
two: this is something from one of my favoritest authors, neil gaiman. ask a question.. you are sure to receive an answer (and please let us all know what your question and answer were, as they are sure to be an amusing combination!)
2.22.2007
2.21.2007
wow. and wow. good stuff:
george takei
and
jimmy kimmel's three musketeers commercial spoof
i almost cried laughing.
george takei
and
jimmy kimmel's three musketeers commercial spoof
i almost cried laughing.
i like how sometimes on those myspace/LJ/blogger surveys they capitalize the first letter in every word of the question.. it makes things look so important or ominous. For example: What was The Last Thing You Purchased? ..doesn't it sound like it should be some big important thing? sometimes i feel silly entering my answer of "a Bottle of Water". almost monty python'esque. "first you must take out the Holy Pin".. similar to "first you must take off the Red Cap".
yeah. anyhow. good day then.
yeah. anyhow. good day then.
2.18.2007
it is happily survived...
for the last two weeks, my friends and i have been working on a case study competition. this involved researching five areas of technology that are of interest to people who work in higher education. we chose blogs, institutional spam, WebCT type programs, university portals, and cell phones. the project was to make a powerpoint file under 1.5MB that discussed benefits, issues, concerns, etc about those issues. the last couple of days, we've been eating, (not) sleeping, and breathing case study. we finished an hour and a half ago.
i'm glad it's done. i'm glad we did it, but i'm glad it's done.
life slows down a smidge for this week, and then picks up again. got some birthday thing going on this week.. we'll see what happens with that. not so sure what that will entail this year. i had decided i wanted to wear a dress all day for my bday, just to make things a little more special, but then i realized that my work day is kindof crazy with presentations and stuff, so that might not be the best idea. *shrug* best laid plans..
anyhow. i need to stop typing. have done too much of that in the last few days. tata.
for the last two weeks, my friends and i have been working on a case study competition. this involved researching five areas of technology that are of interest to people who work in higher education. we chose blogs, institutional spam, WebCT type programs, university portals, and cell phones. the project was to make a powerpoint file under 1.5MB that discussed benefits, issues, concerns, etc about those issues. the last couple of days, we've been eating, (not) sleeping, and breathing case study. we finished an hour and a half ago.
i'm glad it's done. i'm glad we did it, but i'm glad it's done.
life slows down a smidge for this week, and then picks up again. got some birthday thing going on this week.. we'll see what happens with that. not so sure what that will entail this year. i had decided i wanted to wear a dress all day for my bday, just to make things a little more special, but then i realized that my work day is kindof crazy with presentations and stuff, so that might not be the best idea. *shrug* best laid plans..
anyhow. i need to stop typing. have done too much of that in the last few days. tata.
2.14.2007
happy couple hours after valentine's day! all in all, it's been a pretty good day. had some interesting interactions with a couple people, but ya know. whatever. it's valentine's day. it's supposed to be a little weird. i got to give lots of people some yummy cookies i baked, and got to spend some time with people who are dear to me. hooray.
am currently staying up all night (or however long i make it) with my girls, working on a case study competition. we're hoping to get tons of stuff done so we dont have to work on it much this weekend. we'll see. i'm really not good at staying up all night, so.. ya know.
as a friend said, 'happy chocolate is on sale day!'
am currently staying up all night (or however long i make it) with my girls, working on a case study competition. we're hoping to get tons of stuff done so we dont have to work on it much this weekend. we'll see. i'm really not good at staying up all night, so.. ya know.
as a friend said, 'happy chocolate is on sale day!'
2.12.2007
twice within the last year (last march, and then again today) i have been told that because someone did not intend to hurt me i have no reason to actually be hurt. i do not understand how this works. it seems to me that the actual effect of an action is what matters in the end, not the intention of it. seems to me as though even if you don't intend to hurt someone, if you do you are still responsible for owning up to it and then *apologizing* and perhaps clarifying things so that the same mistake does not happen again. am i wrong on this?
i am so tired of manipulative people who are on power trips.
kindof want to go crawl into a cave. or sit in the rain and watch the thunderstorms. mrrrrr
i am so tired of manipulative people who are on power trips.
kindof want to go crawl into a cave. or sit in the rain and watch the thunderstorms. mrrrrr
2.05.2007
i had a fantastic weekend. lots of sleep, got to go kayaking on the ocean (at night! with a full moon!), hung out with some buddies last night, and spent time with my girls (YAY!).
today is not starting out quite so well. i will not be able to get my braces off before my big interviews at the end of march. BOOO :(
also, i am supposed to be at a meeting in one minute, and i am still in my bedroom. bleh.
today is not starting out quite so well. i will not be able to get my braces off before my big interviews at the end of march. BOOO :(
also, i am supposed to be at a meeting in one minute, and i am still in my bedroom. bleh.
2.03.2007
credit goes to elise! for joyful site of the day...
my favorites include the flesh eating virus and the algae
my favorites include the flesh eating virus and the algae
1.29.2007
i flew on a trapeze yesterday!
it was simultaneously the coolest and the scariest thing i have ever done. one of those experiences where time slows and all you say in your head is "ohmygodohmygodohmygod" ..i did it twice. both times for only about 20 to 30 seconds.. but boy did it feel longer than that. the concentration and adrenaline.. wow. what an incredible high afterwards! after about an hour and a half i crashed *hard* and i can still feel that my body is tired, today. actually more than tired. i'm really sore. not sore in the way you'd be if you'd been beat up. but rather sore in the way that i feel like i used absolutely every muscle in my body in a very intense way. it's so good.
i'm going to go back in a couple of weeks. does anyone want to come??
it was simultaneously the coolest and the scariest thing i have ever done. one of those experiences where time slows and all you say in your head is "ohmygodohmygodohmygod" ..i did it twice. both times for only about 20 to 30 seconds.. but boy did it feel longer than that. the concentration and adrenaline.. wow. what an incredible high afterwards! after about an hour and a half i crashed *hard* and i can still feel that my body is tired, today. actually more than tired. i'm really sore. not sore in the way you'd be if you'd been beat up. but rather sore in the way that i feel like i used absolutely every muscle in my body in a very intense way. it's so good.
i'm going to go back in a couple of weeks. does anyone want to come??
1.28.2007
so. this semester.. it's going to kick my butt. really, there has been a lot of butt-kicking in the last three weeks already and i see it only getting more intense from here.
it started out with the enjoyable madness of having two visitors for a week (this is the picture that resulted in my phone landing in the ocean):
followed by flying back to WI with them for the juggling festival. this sign is in the fieldhouse where we juggled all weekend:
then three days of 'down' time in miami before these hooligans came to visit for a weekend..
add in there the craziness of working, trying to get my car fixed, trying to switch cell phone companies, starting a new semester of classes, and a couple difficult conversations with some people and you've got my first three weeks of school. thankfully i have time to get in to work for a couple hours this weekend to get caught up, my car should be getting fixed today, the cell phone should switch tomorrow, class isn't too much work yet, and i'm mostly at peace with the results of the conversations. but those are all recent developments. i am really hoping for the ability to maintain sanity this semester.. something about spring semesters seeming to always be challenging. this semester will be challenging in totally different ways than last spring (thank god.. i dont think i could do that again) but it will definitely be interesting in its own ways.
off to print off my resume and have lunch at south beach with my mentora! (did i mention job searching? yeah no i didn't. prolly b/c i was trying not to think about it. that's a huge thing looming this spring as well. eek!)
it started out with the enjoyable madness of having two visitors for a week (this is the picture that resulted in my phone landing in the ocean):
followed by flying back to WI with them for the juggling festival. this sign is in the fieldhouse where we juggled all weekend:
then three days of 'down' time in miami before these hooligans came to visit for a weekend..
add in there the craziness of working, trying to get my car fixed, trying to switch cell phone companies, starting a new semester of classes, and a couple difficult conversations with some people and you've got my first three weeks of school. thankfully i have time to get in to work for a couple hours this weekend to get caught up, my car should be getting fixed today, the cell phone should switch tomorrow, class isn't too much work yet, and i'm mostly at peace with the results of the conversations. but those are all recent developments. i am really hoping for the ability to maintain sanity this semester.. something about spring semesters seeming to always be challenging. this semester will be challenging in totally different ways than last spring (thank god.. i dont think i could do that again) but it will definitely be interesting in its own ways.
off to print off my resume and have lunch at south beach with my mentora! (did i mention job searching? yeah no i didn't. prolly b/c i was trying not to think about it. that's a huge thing looming this spring as well. eek!)
1.24.2007
so, this is a really poorly written article, but here it is..
my friends got shot at last friday while on their way back from the round-up. thankfully the bullet went into the texan's car door, but had it been a couple inches to one side it would have gotten her in the leg. the bullet came from, of all things, an AK47. umm. that's a big gun. kindof scary. no one was hurt, and it wasn't an intentional thing (who could possibly dislike my friends??) so who knows what will happen.
in completely unrelated news, i finally am getting my phone switched to cingular. i am in the midst of the process.. so my phone might be shut off for a couple days. but my number will be the same once i get it all set.
in other unrelated news, i accidentally closed my thumb in my t-shirt drawer this morning, and expect to have a nice bruise. gotta love the morning clutziness.
my friends got shot at last friday while on their way back from the round-up. thankfully the bullet went into the texan's car door, but had it been a couple inches to one side it would have gotten her in the leg. the bullet came from, of all things, an AK47. umm. that's a big gun. kindof scary. no one was hurt, and it wasn't an intentional thing (who could possibly dislike my friends??) so who knows what will happen.
in completely unrelated news, i finally am getting my phone switched to cingular. i am in the midst of the process.. so my phone might be shut off for a couple days. but my number will be the same once i get it all set.
in other unrelated news, i accidentally closed my thumb in my t-shirt drawer this morning, and expect to have a nice bruise. gotta love the morning clutziness.
1.12.2007
this weekend is the madfest juggling festival! yayy!
this means two things: one, i am in town. two, you should come see the juggling show on saturday night.
Madison Area Jugglers present:
the 47th annual Juggling Extravaganza!
Saturday, January 13th
7pm
Memorial Union Theater
$10
no, you don't have to be a juggler to attend. yes, i promise you will think it's freaking cool. it's not just juggling. it's comedy, it's unicycles, it's music, it's pogo sticks and yoyos, it's a really good way to spend your saturday night.
same price as a movie and popcorn. way cooler.
see you there!
this means two things: one, i am in town. two, you should come see the juggling show on saturday night.
Madison Area Jugglers present:
the 47th annual Juggling Extravaganza!
Saturday, January 13th
7pm
Memorial Union Theater
$10
no, you don't have to be a juggler to attend. yes, i promise you will think it's freaking cool. it's not just juggling. it's comedy, it's unicycles, it's music, it's pogo sticks and yoyos, it's a really good way to spend your saturday night.
same price as a movie and popcorn. way cooler.
see you there!
1.01.2007
happy new year! and also, happy 5th birthday to this blog! yup, that's right.. i've been putting my random thoughts on the intarweb for 5 whole years (as of the 1st). for those of you who have been reading that long, congratulations, thank you, and my apologies for some of the drivel you've read. also thanks for the support through random life events, and analysis of some of my writing things.. ya know. those things that happen when you write a blog and people give you feedback on it ;) anyhow. i thought it would be fun to go back to some of my posts.. random things. it was too long to pull long quotes, so you'll have to click on the links. here we go!
"pretty sure the dog has a nicotine addiction" 01.06.2002
geekiness 02.20.2002
"you have to trust someone to love them.." 03.05.2002
weaver bit the postman! 08-09-2002
erat hora 05.21.2003
"i learn. i watch. i grow" 05.17.2003
tooth extraction trauma! 02.09.2004
"on any other day, i'd be your average white female college student. non-descript. 'normal'" - on day of silence 04.23.2004
"I want to pour on drop you on the end of my language" 09.15.2004
"are they real?" 11.28.2005
"heidi stole my left boob" 02.11.2006
happy five years, blog... it's now past 1am on the day after its birthday, b/c i spent wayyy too much time reading old posts trying to find good things. oh well. goodnight internet world.
"pretty sure the dog has a nicotine addiction" 01.06.2002
geekiness 02.20.2002
"you have to trust someone to love them.." 03.05.2002
weaver bit the postman! 08-09-2002
erat hora 05.21.2003
"i learn. i watch. i grow" 05.17.2003
tooth extraction trauma! 02.09.2004
"on any other day, i'd be your average white female college student. non-descript. 'normal'" - on day of silence 04.23.2004
"I want to pour on drop you on the end of my language" 09.15.2004
"are they real?" 11.28.2005
"heidi stole my left boob" 02.11.2006
happy five years, blog... it's now past 1am on the day after its birthday, b/c i spent wayyy too much time reading old posts trying to find good things. oh well. goodnight internet world.
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