i am sitting in fort lauderdale airport, on my way to bowling green state university for the week. they overbooked my flight so i got bumped to a different one.. which unfortunately leaves 9 hours after the one i was supposed to be on. thankfully, though, there is free wireless here! yay. it will at least help alleviate the airport-induced pain a bit..

i'm stealing this from gloria, becuse it seems like something interesting to do.

No More Silence: 15 things I should have said - to 15 different people, anonymously.

1. stop pitying yourself.

2. it wasn't your place to take that from me.

3. you are one of the most beautiful people i have ever known.

4. i sometimes wonder if i was old enough to make that decision.

5. your hugs are one of the things that got me through last spring.

6. i had a HUGE crush on you.

7. the way you interact with people is one of the most disrespectful things i've ever seen.

8. your kindness outshines that of almost anyone i know.

9. watching you raise children is going to amuse me immensely.

10. thank you for everything you have given me.

11. i have never felt so sexy as when...

12. you taught me how things can be better.

13. you kindof scare me. and i like it.

14. please learn to stand up for yourself.

15. i'm more scared of the time commitment than the loss.

this week has been.. one full of reflection for me. with spring break (and other insanity such as interviewing for jobs) coming up, it has been easy to mark time, essential even. keeping track of things, knowing where i am, what i am doing, who i must contact.. who i am. needing to be able to articulate who i am, what i am good at, what i struggle with. i've spent a lot of time thinking about graduate school and my own development during it. a lot has happened in the last year and a half. heck, broken down, a lot has happened in the last year, the last six months, the last month..

something that has been sticking in my head for a couple days is the difference in my position from last march. a year ago i was in the midst of a maelstrom. a year ago i was home, staying with mike and his family, no idea of what was yet to come. no thought to brace myself. i thought things were going to get easier again. they did get easier, but not until i was halfway across the globe. things got a lot worse, first.

this year, i am once again in the midst of a swirl of confusion. but this time, it's mostly positive confusion. it's the confusion of moving on and up. of graduating, finding a job, balancing school and a nearby SO, really *living* in miami. i feel much more balanced and ready to handle the craziness of what april will bring. this time i actually know what the craziness is! which makes it still a bit scary, but much easier to handle, i think. i've got more people and tools to help me keep an even keel.

anyhow. here's hoping. the next 6 or 8 weeks are going to be nuts for me. i might not be around much. i might not make phone calls, or send emails, or post to my blog. but i am here. i am keeping afloat.

and i am exactly where i want to be.