2015 retrospective

You know how sometimes you look at a period of time and think "how did I make it through that?" ..that's how I feel about a lot of 2015. To say that this year has been a rollercoaster would be an understatement. It's been more like a ride on a tornado - alternating between exhilarating freedom and having flying objects violently smashed into my head.

To recap: Being bullied, lied to and gaslighted at work. Quitting my job, and as a result leaving my chosen field - possibly forever. A six month writing sabbatical. Unexplained infertility. Wildly successful April A-Z (click to read the novella I wrote that month!). Meeting the incredible ladies in my writing group - the Charming Characters. The entire month of June was pure bliss. And then there was the #AMEshooting. I ran my first half marathon, went on backpacking trips at Lumpy Ridge, and Mt. Zirkel, and Maroon Bells, and Lawn Lake. Six months later, still having post-traumatic stress symptoms from the old job BS. Had an editor request a full manuscript of one of my novels! Got a cool new job. Figuring out how to be awesome at new job, but also dealing with feeling like I abandoned my writing dreams for a steady paycheck.

I've never really liked the New Year Resolutions thing. I make a lot of resolutions throughout the year. Why limit myself to what I can imagine for the year at the beginning of it? If I did that I wouldn't have run my half marathon :) I much prefer the retrospective, introspective approach of looking at what I've learned and/or realized:

Solace in movement. Strength of my marriage. Joy in writing. Appreciation of learning opportunities, teachers, incredibly supportive friends and family. So many reminders of resilience - that I have it, and how to use it. Patience while breathing. Patience while waiting. Patience with emotions, doctors, medications, my body, my writing. Patience with myself for not being patient enough. Creativity. And a teensy weensy little bit of learning how to let it all go.

This year I've spent a lot of time (and running and hiking miles) trying to figure out who I am and where I belong in this world. There have been some nasty surprises and failures, but also some successes. I'll settle for 2016 being a rollercoaster. Or, ya know, a chill year would be really great. Regardless, here's to a year of more miles, mountains, and making up stories.

And more of this. Definitely more of this. Mt. Zirkel, CO. July 2015.